Genesis discontinued

I love you

I always think, if this is the one and only chance of my lifetime and I blow it off deceiving myself with the usual 'don't worry, others will come with time'-mentality, will I ever get the opportunity to achieve happiness that fulfills me?

I do not wish to end up as a bitter old shell of myself, I'd much prefer to die young if that is my fate.. But death and the uncertainty it brings is too much of a gamble for me, it scares me.

Maybe I contemplate too much, but I see people who never end up where they wanted to be and it is a horrid state to be in, to wither away into the abyss of time, never fulfilled, much like many pieces of my art. Or like the acorn of an oaktree.. Did you know that the oak makes another seedling only 100 years or so?

And yet, every fall, the acorns die a meaningless death and are tossed aside never to exist...

I got sidetracked, but my point still stands, as an individual I do not wish for my fate to be to just an end to a line of genesis, or to feel unfulfilled in the end. It just doesn't seem right, I of... not all but most people should be fit to have a mate, and to be fulfilled through that. And I as one of the current many who will not step into this supersocial culture of oversexual barbarism we call modern society!

I truly believe we should be the ones to pioneer the next milennia, not these people who we see every day, content on watching Big Brother and submerging themselves into the consumer mentality. It's just not fair! And even if the solution to this problem would be to make a bastard and continue the line of my blood, I do not wish to do so, for it does not make me feel fulfilled or accomplished.

Just...

Vain...